I am broken.
I am left in the dust without
a token of the person I wish I could be.
I am searching for affection,
a deep soul connection
I want to fill the void in my soul
with people or words
but nothing I know
can fill what I want to fill. the pain lingers still
though I try, I try, I try to fix myself.
I try to find a way out of this hell
I have made for myself.
I am looking for love so far from the source
looking for relationship that will quench this thirst
But not people, not inflicting pain
can ease this hell,
I cannot gain fulfillment from this.
I look to the past to solve this emptiness.
I dwell in past memories and with past friends
and all these are good to a certain end.
but they cannot solve my problem.
I look the future and al it has in store
but I know for now that door
is still closed.
there is a time coming when
i will know what today’s tomorrow holds.
but today is the present and wishing
for the past and future can’t fix
the now.
I want to change myself to be liked
to be known
not seeing that I am loved by the one who has known
what it’s like to be human
to break and to be.
He is constant, unchanging,
knows each hair on my head
and He sees me as beautiful, as his precious child.
He’s the one who made me and when he sees me
He smiles
because when He looks at me He sees another child.
His Son clothed in grace
He sees in my place.
This family resemblance allows me who is broken
to have communion with God
as a Father
and listen to words spoken between God, Son and Ghost,
the perfect Trinity.
I can listen and speak and know I belong
to the God of the universe who shines
brighter than the sun.
I am known by the king who died in my place
who one day I will see face to face.
So why do I strive to fill myself here?
where everyone is broken and everyone fears.
See, now I know this and in this I stand firm:
the Kingdom of God is within me
so though this world burn,
friends shun and reject me,
everything I’ve known be torn from my grasp,
and I gasp and I choke on the pain I feel
I will praise my Daddy still.
I belong in His home,
I belong with my Dad
In comparison to this not a trail
I’ve had is so bad
that I fall out of His grasp.
I am beloved by my God
and that is enough.
So I will shout to the Heavens
new praise to my King
until the world rings with joy found in Him.
And until the world knows
that only He can take a person like me
and cause them to grow.
He can release their bonds
and allow them to see
that He made
and loves
and is in all things.
So why are you cast down, o my soul.
Find your worth in God
and know. That He formed you
and made you His beautiful bride.
So though no matter how terrified this makes you feel:
He is all you need.
My soul, be still.
